The Menopause Mindshift: Reclaiming Power, Pleasure and Possibility
Rewriting the Menopause Narrative
Our thoughts shape how we experience everything — including menopause. Have you ever caught yourself thinking:
“I feel like I’m past my ‘Best By Date.’ “ — “Looking sexy is for the younger crowd.” —- “Uncomfortable menopausal symptoms are inevitable. You just have to get through them!” —- “I’m no longer interested in sex. Isn’t that normal?”……… And so on!
If any of these sound familiar, it might be time for a gentle recalibration…
These preconceptions, thoughts, and feelings are simply a result of cultural conditioning. You don’t have to feel diminished, less confident, stagnant, a former shell of yourself, or struggle with a debilitating rollercoaster of emotional and physical symptoms. There are many things that you can do to get your life back on track. However, one of the most important steps is to first “refresh” your mindset — opening up to the possibility that menopause can be one of the most transformative times in a woman’s life! A new start, a new beginning to craft a life on your terms, your dreams.
What Menopause Meant to our Ancestors
Let’s zoom out for a moment. In past generations, most women entered menopause naturally, with very little pain and few issues. For the most part, menopause was seen as a non-event, simply moving to the next phase of life. At this stage of life, women were viewed as important contributors to the family and the community. Especially in indigenous cultures, where women were revered for their wisdom, sought out for their guidance, their powerful influence, and their healing abilities.
Why Modern Women Struggle More Than Ever
Why do so many women in our modern culture suffer through the menopausal years feeling a loss of self, struggling with debilitating physical symptoms, mood imbalances, and loss of confidence?
To begin with, the fast pace of our modern world has exacerbated and multiplied the number of debilitating symptoms that women experience.
Our modern society has fostered a reliance on convenient, highly processed foods, which wreak havoc with our bodies. We are inundated with unrelenting stress from multiple sources and the inability to properly manage it. We are experiencing more sedentary lifestyles, higher rates of obesity and resulting lifestyle diseases, all of which compound and magnify menopausal symptoms.
In addition, many women are still holding on to the belief that their needs take second place to everyone else’s needs.
As a result, they are not taking the time to nourish their minds, bodies, and souls through proper self-care. I know you’ve probably heard the saying that you must first fill your cup before you can fill another’s cup. But are you REALLY putting this into practice? I can be guilty of this too, but everyday I remind myself to find those little pockets of time where I can self-nourish in whatever capacity is needed. Some days are truly better than others, though! 😆
And lastly, our society’s current obsession with youth overlooks the fact that women can look, act, and feel beautiful at any age.
While aging gracefully can help you maintain your physical looks — and don’t get me wrong, that’s definitely a bonus! -— To me, there is something so seductive and alluring about the inner glow and confidence that comes from a woman who is living a rich and satisfying life, who nourishes and takes joy in her body, experiences fulfilling relationships, and has tapped into her creative powers to manifest a life of her dreams.
In a 2015 interview with Reuters, Dr. Mary Jane Minkin, a professor in obstetrics, gynecology, and reproductive health at Yale Medical School, affirms the impact that cultural differences can have on how women experience menopause.
“In societies where age is more revered and the older woman is the wiser and better woman, menopausal symptoms are significantly less bothersome. Where older is not better, many women equate menopause with old age, and symptoms can be much more devastating.” (1)
Interesting, right? Such an important testament to the mind/body connection!
Why Menopause is a Portal - Not a Pause
A woman has incredible opportunities at this stage of life. It can be an extraordinary time of expansion, liberation, and creativity. Most likely, she is free from the earlier life stage of raising children and/or has worked to establish a career, and now has the time to focus on what is most meaningful to her in determining how she wants to live the next phase of her life.
I love Dr. Christiane Northrup’s view of menopause. In her book, “The Wisdom of Menopause”, she writes….
“At menopause, the hormonal changes are only part of a woman’s ongoing transformation, which begins at an energetic level and triggers change not only in her biology but also in her perception, intuition, neural pathways, emotions, creative drive, and overall focus. While she spends the first half of her life giving birth to others (literally and figuratively), everything about her menopausal transition suggests the second half of life is when she is meant to give birth to herself.” (2)
Pause for a moment and read those last two lines again. This isn’t just biology — it’s a soul-deep transformation. A “rebirthing,” so to speak. I find this exciting and deeply powerful!
I know, I know..…. I can hear some of you whispering (or shouting) in the background, “But what about those damn physical symptoms? I just want to feel comfortable in my body again!”
I definitely hear you and know that menopausal symptoms or worries can seriously impede your enjoyment of life! However, first altering your perception of menopause, can and will provide the impetus and framework for making healthy changes that reduce or even eliminate your symptoms. Keeping that beautiful vision of how your life can change in mind, helps sustain us during difficult times.
Are you inspired yet? I hope so. Dr. Northrup’s message was truly galvanizing for me and reaffirmed the journey I’ve been on for the last decade. It also ignited a passion to help other women truly live and feel their best during this pivotal and transformational time in a woman’s life..
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References:
1. Rapaport, Lisa. “Culture may influence how women experience menopause”. Reuters Health News, 5 Jun 2015. https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-menopause-perceptions/
2. Northrup, Christiane, M.D. The Wisdom of Menopause. (New York: Bantam Books, 2012) pg 339.